Man

Man, writing on cue is hard.

This is like my fourth attempt at getting some words out, and this time I'm going with it no matter how bad it is. At the beginning I tried writing about the news, then about my day, and finally going all philosophical. "People are animals, and part of nature." But it was crap. I mean, not for lack of analogies. Or whatever. It felt pompous.

But there were some bits I liked. Stuff like:
You ever look at a flock of pigeons? They are following Darwin's commandment. Which can be paraphrased as, "Do what it takes to survive and thrive". Now go by a high school some time. I swear same damn thing. For a bunch of people who want to express their budding individuality, they blend in together pretty good. You've got your crowds of jocks, or nerds, or goths, or emos, or hippies, or whatever flavor of style you run into. They follow the same social rules and the beasts of the jungle. Jocks and lions both travel in prides (the most appropriate use of the word yet). Emos and zebras confuse their predators by blending in visually. From fifty paces I think the only way to tell how many of them there are is by measuring the density of their complaining. Then there's the popular girls who survive by being like sheep. Kinda being fluffy and following the nonexistent leader. Who would have thought that people would copy sheep to get themselves through life. I wanna shave one and knit a sweater. The wool would come prebleached!

Huh

Talk about taking an analogy and running with it. Whatever. People say you shouldn't run with scissors, but I think that was worse.

It's all good though. I'm just like everyone else. I have my moments of brilliance. That . . . wasn't one of them, granted. But the trick to looking smart is by providing contrast. If you look smart all the time, you just kinda fade into a kind of intelligent static. You need to look like a dolt to make your brilliance shine. That's why I act like an idiot. So people around me can more fully appreciate when I'm brilliant. I swear it.

All right, the dead horse of an idea that I'm beating is getting tired so I'll let him have a break for a bit.

Recipe for inspiration

So I was thinking, "I should write something. Get my words out there. Make a difference." I sit back and I ponder. I ruminate. I wait for that flash of inspiration, that epiphany, the bolt from the blue.

Nothing.

So I wait some more.

Still nothing.

Why do my brilliant moments either happen when I'm half asleep or in the bathroom? I think about that idea try to work something clever out of it.
And still.
Nothing.

I pause, for a good longish minute or two. Relax. You can't force this stuff. Think about something else. I mull over the price of tea in china. I meander down memory lane. I become deeply engrossed as to why some of my toenails appear to grow faster than others. My mind is wandering like a pro, just waiting for the right moment to casually glance to the left and find that idea in the rough.

Come on, I know that vein of brilliance is here somewhere.

Moses wandered the desert for forty years, searching. Have I got his patience? The desert of my mind has manna and my thoughts are following my intentions, but they complain about their lot, so my spirit is leaving them to wander. Perhaps when they are pious they shall find their way, and I shall reach the holy land with something clever to say.

Until then though, I guess I'll just have to grind out words and hope to get lucky.

Amazing

So in January, I started a blog. Heavens only knows why, maybe I thought I had something to say.

Like most of my projects, I got distracted and this got thrown to the side. It has been dormant for the last six months, unused and unloved, pining away in the vastness of the internet. Time to break out the violin I guess.

Anyway, like most of my projects I'm putting it back together. Who knows, maybe this time I'll make it work. I just need to put some more time and effort into it. Oh, and I'm probably going to be more vulgar. Do I have any reason to be? Nah, but there's a cathartic release in being horrible.

Which brings us to today.

I'm back and I'm horrible

If you are lucky, you won't read this.